grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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