This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
