I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
