TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
