Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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