She went from zero to smokin in five shots
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
