you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
