Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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