Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
