Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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