make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
