never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
