dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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