I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
