I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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