Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
