she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
