hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
