Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Damn victory sex feels great
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
