How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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