I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
