You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
