Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
