Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
