Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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