ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
