If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I supernannyed him into submission
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
