quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
