in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
