we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
