dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
