nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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