@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
