You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
