"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
