Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
