Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
