in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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