id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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