it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
