How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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