6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
