Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
