I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
