dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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