oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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