you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
