It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
