Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
