I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
