I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
